Good morning, Friends
This week is the first week of Advent, 2009. Sunday was designated as "Hope" Sunday. I barely had any hope as I drove to worship. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and tears started to come, just from the sheer tiredness of being solo pastor in this church. Ministering to the growing congregation and beginning the new church seems overwhelming at times. The bright spot of that drive was that I would go to a church in Elmira, NY that afternoon. Just to sit and be washed in grace. And, I did and I was.
The congregation in Elmira is not huge, but, like my own, it is filled with spirit and hope and joy. This congregation is where I "borrowed" the idea of having the children's band at the conclusion of our service - the 2- 3- and 4-year old children (and older, too) play a percussion instrument to accompany our amazing Charles.
As I sat in this Catholic (not "Roman") mass, the tiredness and feelings of the world on my shoulders left and I was at peace with myself and the world. For that time I found what I think people seek when they dare to come to a church after years of absence. I think they are seeking the experience that I have in this holy place. Offering that experience is my duty as a minister. The grace-feeling cannot come from a secular society no matter how many activities are offered.
My prayer and hope this week of Advent? when visitors come to our congregation, they find the same grace and peace and love and acceptance that I find in this worship comprised of Catholics wanting a new church in a changing age.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Tree hugging in any event?
Our local 63-bed hospital announced plans to expand! It is adding a state-of-the-art emergency room. Many in our community are upset. These are generally not folk who are hostile to change but they are averse to changing beautiful landscape. I have been the recipient of several “stop this growth” emails. As a self-identified liberal - a tree hugger - people automatically identify me as one who will protest cutting down trees on our town’s main street to retain the stately nature of the main thoroughfare.
I live two blocks from the hospital and drive by the trees and manicured grounds daily. I would love to be part of saving these trees. Since they are part of my new home community, I have taken pictures of them for my kids and others so they could better see what my community is like. The trees are an awesome tribute to those who planned our community more than 100 years ago -- these may have been citizens who sought beauty in what might have been Pennsylvania coal country. They do offer that promised beauty and a park-like atmosphere for those of us who walk around the community. These trees nourish my soul on bleak days, offer shade from the unrelenting summer sun even as they provide a place of quiet solitude for the family suffering a long wait for news of how loved ones are faring inside the walls. For these reasons, I love the trees and the park atmosphere.
On the other hand, the addition of an emergency rooms equipped to care for a dying child or the stroke of a father or the gun-shot accident that happened while cleaning one of the ubiquitous guns I see perched on the back window of pickup trucks cannot be all bad. The addition of this new technology offers hope to individuals who otherwise might have had to be air lifted to a hospital one to two to three hours away from those who love them. The addition of this emergency room will provide a room for children to use as they sit through long waits and it will provide sufficient accommodations for adults who too sit long hours. In this new addition, I do not see my soul being fed – I see my soul being saved. What I also see is my health being guarded, my life being protected.
One hundred years from now when this addition has more than served its purpose and plans are announced to remove it, I hope that a blogger will write about how this emergency room addition offered solace and comfort and life-saving to a community that had vision enough to go ahead and build despite some opposition. Speaking as a sociologist, I understand that society does not like change. Speaking now as a Theologist, I remember that Moses led a people who did not want change into change. I always remember that that community grew into the change it so feared. I expect we will, too.
I live two blocks from the hospital and drive by the trees and manicured grounds daily. I would love to be part of saving these trees. Since they are part of my new home community, I have taken pictures of them for my kids and others so they could better see what my community is like. The trees are an awesome tribute to those who planned our community more than 100 years ago -- these may have been citizens who sought beauty in what might have been Pennsylvania coal country. They do offer that promised beauty and a park-like atmosphere for those of us who walk around the community. These trees nourish my soul on bleak days, offer shade from the unrelenting summer sun even as they provide a place of quiet solitude for the family suffering a long wait for news of how loved ones are faring inside the walls. For these reasons, I love the trees and the park atmosphere.
On the other hand, the addition of an emergency rooms equipped to care for a dying child or the stroke of a father or the gun-shot accident that happened while cleaning one of the ubiquitous guns I see perched on the back window of pickup trucks cannot be all bad. The addition of this new technology offers hope to individuals who otherwise might have had to be air lifted to a hospital one to two to three hours away from those who love them. The addition of this emergency room will provide a room for children to use as they sit through long waits and it will provide sufficient accommodations for adults who too sit long hours. In this new addition, I do not see my soul being fed – I see my soul being saved. What I also see is my health being guarded, my life being protected.
One hundred years from now when this addition has more than served its purpose and plans are announced to remove it, I hope that a blogger will write about how this emergency room addition offered solace and comfort and life-saving to a community that had vision enough to go ahead and build despite some opposition. Speaking as a sociologist, I understand that society does not like change. Speaking now as a Theologist, I remember that Moses led a people who did not want change into change. I always remember that that community grew into the change it so feared. I expect we will, too.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
THE PLANS OF MICE AND MEN
Taking care of me has been on the top of my mind for several weeks. I guard my one day off each week with the fierce pride of a mother guarding her cub. And woe to anyone who has the audacity to plan a meeting for that day – well, this is mostly true. But, seeing one day as the only day off is somehow disheartening. The day is filled with washing, cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, grocery shopping, cutting grass in summer – I am exhausted writing the list. It is not relaxing.
I have been fighting to find ways to have a bit more time off – without just cramming the work I do in six days into five – that would mean five very long days. So I hit on the idea – work not more than ten hours a day for four days and take off two afternoons or two mornings making those days four to five hour-days. The first week I tried this new system, I failed miserably and felt dismal. The second, I was somewhat more successful. Ah, the third is showing promise!
Here is what I learned:
* not everything needs to be done perfectly;
* sermon helps are there for just that "helping: I purchased books that are designed as sermon-writing helps. Using these resources is not cheating and saves four hours each week;
* finally, some things can be done later
The solution is not perfect – but it is better. What was looking and feeling like burnout is feeling more like tired but with potential – I know that I can adjust, do a bit less, demand less of myself. Solo pastoring – even as a church planter – can wipe one out, make one stronger or make one think smarter. I hope I am ending up in the smarter category.
I have been fighting to find ways to have a bit more time off – without just cramming the work I do in six days into five – that would mean five very long days. So I hit on the idea – work not more than ten hours a day for four days and take off two afternoons or two mornings making those days four to five hour-days. The first week I tried this new system, I failed miserably and felt dismal. The second, I was somewhat more successful. Ah, the third is showing promise!
Here is what I learned:
* not everything needs to be done perfectly;
* sermon helps are there for just that "helping: I purchased books that are designed as sermon-writing helps. Using these resources is not cheating and saves four hours each week;
* finally, some things can be done later
The solution is not perfect – but it is better. What was looking and feeling like burnout is feeling more like tired but with potential – I know that I can adjust, do a bit less, demand less of myself. Solo pastoring – even as a church planter – can wipe one out, make one stronger or make one think smarter. I hope I am ending up in the smarter category.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
A Velvet Hammer
I frequently charge my congregation to be Jesus People in our world. Being Jesus People is not easy. It is my challenge to them – and myself – to do what Jesus would do if he were here, now, in this corner of the world.
Being a Jesus person includes keeping our eyes, ears and hearts open to all whom we meet as we go the grocery store, or as we walk through a neighborhood or as we talk to a sales person on the phone [this last is particularly difficult, as you know :-)]. Being a Jesus person forces us to see God in everything and it forces us to not allow hurt or poverty or want go unnoticed. It means that we feed the hungry whatever food they need for their journeys. It means that we listen even when we don’t want to hear the sadness being voiced. It also means that we talk less about ourselves and more about others as we go through our day. And, it means seeing God in ourselves. Jesus did all of this – more – as he proclaimed the gospel of God. Even when he was tired, he put others first. When he got short-tempered, he remembered to care for others. When he was in the company of his disciples and they did not live up to his expectations, he understood and went on with his mission of proclaiming God through his actions. Even alone, we are told that he kept God in the forefront.
Proclaiming myself a Jesus person seems counter to my liberal Christian stance. For my actions, being a Jesus person means not allowing suffering stand, not letting laws meant for the Ancients rule our contemporary life. It also means going quietly – hoping that those I meet will see that I don’t hammer them over the head with God and judgment – rather, what I do is a testimony to what I believe. I fail too frequently often leaving a person wishing I had said or done something else. We all have those moments. The good news is that being a Jesus person offers me forgiveness for what I failed to do or for things I did and gives me an opportunity to try again.
Dear Readers, I challenge you to be Jesus People in your corner of the world. You, like I, won’t get it right every time, but mostly, your actions and words will say that you are not only Jesus People, but God People, spreading the reign of God with a velvet hammer.
Being a Jesus person includes keeping our eyes, ears and hearts open to all whom we meet as we go the grocery store, or as we walk through a neighborhood or as we talk to a sales person on the phone [this last is particularly difficult, as you know :-)]. Being a Jesus person forces us to see God in everything and it forces us to not allow hurt or poverty or want go unnoticed. It means that we feed the hungry whatever food they need for their journeys. It means that we listen even when we don’t want to hear the sadness being voiced. It also means that we talk less about ourselves and more about others as we go through our day. And, it means seeing God in ourselves. Jesus did all of this – more – as he proclaimed the gospel of God. Even when he was tired, he put others first. When he got short-tempered, he remembered to care for others. When he was in the company of his disciples and they did not live up to his expectations, he understood and went on with his mission of proclaiming God through his actions. Even alone, we are told that he kept God in the forefront.
Proclaiming myself a Jesus person seems counter to my liberal Christian stance. For my actions, being a Jesus person means not allowing suffering stand, not letting laws meant for the Ancients rule our contemporary life. It also means going quietly – hoping that those I meet will see that I don’t hammer them over the head with God and judgment – rather, what I do is a testimony to what I believe. I fail too frequently often leaving a person wishing I had said or done something else. We all have those moments. The good news is that being a Jesus person offers me forgiveness for what I failed to do or for things I did and gives me an opportunity to try again.
Dear Readers, I challenge you to be Jesus People in your corner of the world. You, like I, won’t get it right every time, but mostly, your actions and words will say that you are not only Jesus People, but God People, spreading the reign of God with a velvet hammer.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Will the “real” preacher please stand?
Life in rural Pennsylvania is more conservative than I ever imagined. Discriminations that had been tested in Colorado continue to be part of my life here. Being female is one example. In Colorado, I was a member of a service club that had just admitted females --- much against their collective wills. (There were no racial minorities even though Hispanics are the majority ethnic group.) The club allowed me in and rarely made comments in my hearing about females. I was not only the only female member, but also probably the only Democrat; their comments ridiculed my politics and our President. Often the brunt of disparaging comments, they always made loud enough for me to hear. Sometimes, my friends in the club stood up for me, but they to be careful who they went against. Eventually, it was time for me to leave that club because their meeting day no longer worked for me. I resigned and joined another club that met on a different day. The new club had many women, as well as a variety of political and social views all of which reminded me that bigotry in any form can be situational.
My association with the new Colorado club was delightful and made me want to repeat the experience here. One of the first organizations I joined was the local branch of this service club. It took awhile to be invited to join.
Last week at my new service club, I overheard the following posed to the visiting pastor of a local church “If you join, then we will have a real pastor as part of this club.” I was sitting three seats away and don’t know if the comment was made so that I would overhear. I do know that the speaker knows I am a pastor because (I recently learned) there was a question when my name was considered for membership -- some in the club were worried that as a new member, a liberal pastor, I would be too (fill in a word here: liberal … female … self-assured … independent … pick you own word). The club members had to have a lengthy discussion about my desire to join the club without having met me or talked with me. I had to write and submit an essay about myself to a committee, who circulated it around the club. Not one new member since has circulated such a statement. There are other females in the group, so my gender is not the issue – could only be my occupation: New Church Planter.
Sometimes when things get tough, I am tempted to quit, to leave here, to go back home. But not this time. Right now, I am determined to stay and be more than they think. Let them get to know that I am ethical, keep my word and pull my weight. When I have them all convinced that the real preacher is keeping on and keeping up, then I can collect my pride and leave if I choose. We will see what happens when that time comes.
My association with the new Colorado club was delightful and made me want to repeat the experience here. One of the first organizations I joined was the local branch of this service club. It took awhile to be invited to join.
Last week at my new service club, I overheard the following posed to the visiting pastor of a local church “If you join, then we will have a real pastor as part of this club.” I was sitting three seats away and don’t know if the comment was made so that I would overhear. I do know that the speaker knows I am a pastor because (I recently learned) there was a question when my name was considered for membership -- some in the club were worried that as a new member, a liberal pastor, I would be too (fill in a word here: liberal … female … self-assured … independent … pick you own word). The club members had to have a lengthy discussion about my desire to join the club without having met me or talked with me. I had to write and submit an essay about myself to a committee, who circulated it around the club. Not one new member since has circulated such a statement. There are other females in the group, so my gender is not the issue – could only be my occupation: New Church Planter.
Sometimes when things get tough, I am tempted to quit, to leave here, to go back home. But not this time. Right now, I am determined to stay and be more than they think. Let them get to know that I am ethical, keep my word and pull my weight. When I have them all convinced that the real preacher is keeping on and keeping up, then I can collect my pride and leave if I choose. We will see what happens when that time comes.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Caring for self and others
Good morning friends -
My first “blog” journaled my experiences as a seminary student at 60, telling of my experiences as I entered my third career – years after I had earned the terminal degree in my field – Doctor of Philosophy in Medical Sociology. At 60, I responded to a call to the ministry – some might say I was always in the ministry as I worked in the nonprofit field for many years. Six years later, “Tuesday Thoughts” continues a journey: it is my response to a friend’s query: Do I journal my experiences as a pastor out of my element – new to rural Penna, new to church planting (but not new to starting organizations), in fact, relatively new to ministry? The nonprofit field shares many things in common with ministry: many hours, relatively low pay, high community involvement, as sense of call and, in my case, focused work with those living on the fringes of middle class society.
This day’s thoughts concern self-care issues: I don’t generally put self, exercise, health in my day planner although I try being mindful about this care of me. After this new church is planted, a “me” will continue sharing my life. How will my future self and me be our best?
In September when I did not get to go “home” for vacation some of my time here was spent soul-searching. I understood that if I were to remain in this call – in this church – it would be necessary to take better care of Sharon. September brought more purposeful early day prayer and meditation time. October offers one lunch hour each week for a yoga practice. I have long been a yoga practitioner but had let my practice go when I moved to this area. It feels good to have that hour and a quarter of focusing on my inner self. October also offers the opportunity to say yes to my son’s invitation to spend Thanksgiving with he and his wife in North Carolina. Weather permitting, I will drive the 10 hours each way to bask in family for 48 hours at their home. Still in October, but not the end of my self-care, on Sunday I discovered a Catholic Church in Elmira NY that welcomed me, an ordained UCC/DOC pastor, into their church family. During worship, grace washed over me. I sang, took communion, was blessed and listened as the youth band (three 2- and 3-year olds) played triangle, xylophone and marimba accompanying the congregation gathered as they sang the sending forth song. Since I work Sundays, I can only join this congregation one or two times each month; but it is worth the 1 1/4 hour drive to be ministered to. This opportunity also reminds me of what I need to do for my congregation to assure they are spiritually fed as they attend worship in Pennsylvania. God is indeed good!
My first “blog” journaled my experiences as a seminary student at 60, telling of my experiences as I entered my third career – years after I had earned the terminal degree in my field – Doctor of Philosophy in Medical Sociology. At 60, I responded to a call to the ministry – some might say I was always in the ministry as I worked in the nonprofit field for many years. Six years later, “Tuesday Thoughts” continues a journey: it is my response to a friend’s query: Do I journal my experiences as a pastor out of my element – new to rural Penna, new to church planting (but not new to starting organizations), in fact, relatively new to ministry? The nonprofit field shares many things in common with ministry: many hours, relatively low pay, high community involvement, as sense of call and, in my case, focused work with those living on the fringes of middle class society.
This day’s thoughts concern self-care issues: I don’t generally put self, exercise, health in my day planner although I try being mindful about this care of me. After this new church is planted, a “me” will continue sharing my life. How will my future self and me be our best?
In September when I did not get to go “home” for vacation some of my time here was spent soul-searching. I understood that if I were to remain in this call – in this church – it would be necessary to take better care of Sharon. September brought more purposeful early day prayer and meditation time. October offers one lunch hour each week for a yoga practice. I have long been a yoga practitioner but had let my practice go when I moved to this area. It feels good to have that hour and a quarter of focusing on my inner self. October also offers the opportunity to say yes to my son’s invitation to spend Thanksgiving with he and his wife in North Carolina. Weather permitting, I will drive the 10 hours each way to bask in family for 48 hours at their home. Still in October, but not the end of my self-care, on Sunday I discovered a Catholic Church in Elmira NY that welcomed me, an ordained UCC/DOC pastor, into their church family. During worship, grace washed over me. I sang, took communion, was blessed and listened as the youth band (three 2- and 3-year olds) played triangle, xylophone and marimba accompanying the congregation gathered as they sang the sending forth song. Since I work Sundays, I can only join this congregation one or two times each month; but it is worth the 1 1/4 hour drive to be ministered to. This opportunity also reminds me of what I need to do for my congregation to assure they are spiritually fed as they attend worship in Pennsylvania. God is indeed good!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Growth by spurts
Yesterday in worship, our attendance was 22. Paltry by most standards; awesome by ours. We are a congregation – a church - where a year ago, four to six could be counted on to worship. Today, in addition to the 22 in our pews, I could count eight regulars who were either away or at home or had company or were recuperating. In addition to the 30 regulars, we have a few who come, try us and then either come back or leave. Even if they leave, they have experienced a 21st Century progressive church.
The 22 in worship encourages me no end! The congregants who were missing but remain committed encourage me as well. The encouragement is critical because this past week, I emailed my coach with “I want to quit” this impossible task. He strongly encouraged me to look beyond myself – no wallowing in self pity allowed. At a similar low point, a priest I know told me that it does not matter whether this church is successful or not – what will have happened is that some will have been offered God in a way they had not before. A longing they experience for the Holy will have a new avenue for expression.
Church planting takes far more guts than I ever expected. I thought the congregation would grow just based on my enthusiasm and my continual marketing. A build-it-and- they-will-come outlook. How naïve. When I start thinking that church planting is merely a matter of offering God in a new way, I need to remember the Gallop online test I took, the phone interviews I participated in, the in-person interviews I enjoyed. This church planting is not for wimps. Nor is it for people who measure success by the hundreds of worshipers filling Sunday pews. Nor frankly, does the number of different weekly opportunities we offer measure it. Nope, church planting is a partnership between God and my advisory committee and my two denominations and the congregation who is always willing to step up and help. Church planting is a result of planning, patience and prayers. Lots of prayers.
I thank God for the 22 in worship, for their dedication and willingness to join this endeavor. I imagine I will find other days when I plan how get away from this impossible task; and days I will thank the Holy One for this incredible opportunity of offering a progressive expression to infinite love.
The 22 in worship encourages me no end! The congregants who were missing but remain committed encourage me as well. The encouragement is critical because this past week, I emailed my coach with “I want to quit” this impossible task. He strongly encouraged me to look beyond myself – no wallowing in self pity allowed. At a similar low point, a priest I know told me that it does not matter whether this church is successful or not – what will have happened is that some will have been offered God in a way they had not before. A longing they experience for the Holy will have a new avenue for expression.
Church planting takes far more guts than I ever expected. I thought the congregation would grow just based on my enthusiasm and my continual marketing. A build-it-and- they-will-come outlook. How naïve. When I start thinking that church planting is merely a matter of offering God in a new way, I need to remember the Gallop online test I took, the phone interviews I participated in, the in-person interviews I enjoyed. This church planting is not for wimps. Nor is it for people who measure success by the hundreds of worshipers filling Sunday pews. Nor frankly, does the number of different weekly opportunities we offer measure it. Nope, church planting is a partnership between God and my advisory committee and my two denominations and the congregation who is always willing to step up and help. Church planting is a result of planning, patience and prayers. Lots of prayers.
I thank God for the 22 in worship, for their dedication and willingness to join this endeavor. I imagine I will find other days when I plan how get away from this impossible task; and days I will thank the Holy One for this incredible opportunity of offering a progressive expression to infinite love.
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